You're not dead. Chances are you're not going to die ... not anytime soon anyway. The external world is pushing in on your mind, your spirit, and the ethereal sense of being that we were holding onto before the 'rona changed our world.
That's as bad as it's going to get though. You have to change. We have to change.
You can either try to resist it (and drive yourself crazy) or embrace the opportunity you have and find the silver lining in all of this.